Real Moms: Loren Mitchell

I am so excited to begin the new motherhood series here on HebrewDawn, and interview our first mom. Please allow me to introduce, one of my dearest friends, Loren Mitchell. She is a pastor in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), a writer, and a dear friend. She’s and I met while in seminary together, and though miles may separate us, our friendship has remained strong. It has been a joy to be on this motherhood journey together, as our kids are 7 months apart. I hope you enjoy getting to know Loren and hearing about her life as a mom with her sweet boy K.

How many children do you have and how old are they? I have one child, a son, who will be 2 years old in May.

What is your greatest joy in being a mom? Seeing how much fun K has when he is doing the most basic things! He loves moving and sorting things from one box to another. He gets really excited now to go outside and play. While he is more of a picky eater now than he once was, he really enjoys eating applesauce and cookies. He is very adamant in asking for both. He also has this little monkey backpack and lunchbox that he loves to wear to school. My favorite part of the day is bedtime. Not the part where we keep trying to delay putting on pajamas or fighting brushing our teeth. But the part where we snuggle in the rocking chair and read stories before bed.

What has been your greatest struggle as a mom? Having my child be sick so frequently in the past year. For the first ten months of his life he went to work with me (I was serving as a solo pastor in a small congregation). When we moved to a bigger city and I began to serve a larger church a year ago, K who was becoming mobile, had to start daycare. He has had every virus under the sun, twice! To make matters worse, he has febrile seizures. This means that when his fever spikes from a virus or ear infection for example, he has seizures. These do not cause damage and don’t last very long but they are so scary! So, as parents we have struggled a lot on whether or not to keep him in school or take him out. It is always hard to see your baby sick, but the fear of seizures has made us extra protective when he isn’t feeling well. We’ve chosen to keep him in the Montessori school where he attends because he loves it so much and he is learning so many great skills. And finally, after a year, I believe his immune system is finally getting stronger!

What’s something you wish you knew before you became a mom? I was so terrified to bring him home when he was born. How would I ever sleep? I knew it would be so tiring. I knew that we would become pros at feeding, changing, etc., but I don’t think I was ever absolutely certain that I was ready to be a mother. I guess I wish I had been more confident in the fact that I didn’t have to breastfeed my child. I had wanted to do that and was prepared for it. But, I was sick when he was born. Not only did we have latching issues, my milk never came in. After about 6 weeks of stressing over that every hour of every day I quit trying. And you know what? It is okay! My son is healthy. My son was thriving and I was not. I had to not only accept that fact but trust that we bonded just fine as mother and son without breastfeeding. It is great for some moms, but it didn’t work for me and that doesn’t make me any less of a mother.

Having a child changes you, so what do you hold onto and let go of as mother? Being in control of everything (P.S. this is ridiculously hard). I like to plan things out but I find that with a child things change in an instant so it is harder for me to commit to doing things professionally or socially. I actually had to give up serving on our Presbytery Youth Council because I just couldn’t do everything. This was very sad for me to say that I couldn’t participate in that ministry anymore. I’ve gotten very lax about keeping the house straight or even keeping my desk/bill pile organized. I hate this and It drives me crazy. If I have to choose between sitting on the floor with the kiddo or straightening up, I have learned to try to sit still in the moment (my husband will tell you he has to constantly remind me that it is ok to be this way)! I am also trying really hard to hold on to my friendships. Time is such a precious gift these days but I am often too tired to pick up the phone or plan a day with friends. I value those relationships and that support so much, as I have wonderful friends. I hope they know they are appreciated, even if we don’t spend a lot of time together like we did before we all got married and had children.

How has your relationship with your significant other changed since having kids? My relationship with my husband is certainly different. In some ways we are stronger than ever, we are a team when it comes to parenting our son and I feel that we are intentional in quality time spent as a family. But there are days when we really struggle. There are days when all of my energy is spent being pastor and mother and I am just deflated at the end of the day with little energy to be a wife. Not that these roles should ever be divided up in this way as I am supposed to wear all these hats at once, but I think that my husband often gets the short end of the stick. Other life stresses can also contribute to that but I think that we strive to spend quality time together, but it is tough. This flows over into the next question

How do you make time for date night? Or how do you keep it saucy when life gets messy? Short answer: I am not very good at it! I let the stresses of life kill my mood more often than I should. We have tried, and will continue to strive to take date nights or spend time together on days I do not have to work. We are lucky we have family close by so we do try to take advantage and let K spend time with them!

What’s the one thing you would tell yourself looking back on your journey thus far? They grow so fast. And Saturdays can be so hard! Just try to relax and enjoy the moments you have with your son and your spouse. Children change every day and I want to be able to remember what he was like at each stage of his childhood. Two things I have done to record those memories are to make Shutterfly Photo books every few months and write him a monthly blog on his birthday date with memories, milestones, and photos so that we can always look back. He’ll either appreciate that when he is older or want to kill me.

Thank You Loren for agreeing to be a part of the real moms series! I hope you have enjoyed hearing from this beautiful woman, and hearing that there are many similar struggles that we are all facing. If you enjoyed her writing style as much as I do, feel free to read more on her blog Preaching Thumbelina.

Would you like to be featured in the Real Moms Series or have someone you’d like to see? We are looking for moms with kids of all ages AND mothers of children all grown up to share their story. Make sure to send me a message to be featured or nominate someone!

Get Ready: Easter is Coming

In two short days it will be Holy Week. This means that as Christians, these are the final days of lent which lead us to Easter. Far too often we make a mad dash for Easter Sunday, but this year I’d like to encourage you to slow down. Why you may ask? Easter can’t happen without the days leading up, and we need those days to prepare our hearts and minds too.

Holy Week begins with Palm Sunday, as we remember Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem. For those of us that go to church this Sunday morning, will wave palm branches, and sing Hosanna. We’ll be caught up in the joy of the day and not think much about the journey that Jesus is about to begin. Those closest to Jesus, the disciples, are clueless about what is going to happen to their beloved friend and teacher, despite his many warnings and we’re not all that different. Despite all of our flaws and failings, Jesus knowingly and willingly continues down this road that will lead to his death. With all the hosannas and waves of our palm branches, we tend not to think about the meaning of this day or the week ahead.

As we read through the Gospels on Holy Monday and Tuesday we’re being prepared for what’s to come. Jesus will be anointed at Bethany, foreshadowing what will happen to him in death. Jesus will again warn his discipes, and us as the readers, of what is coming. On of his friends will betray him and set the final course of events into action. As if all of this wasn’t enough, another friend will come to deny he ever knew him, his friend and swore he’d never deny and would defend. Thursday will come, and church attendance will go down drastically, before it’s great spike on Easter Sunday.

Thursday is Maundy, or Commandment, Thursday. We often skip up and call this day Monday Thirsday or some funny derivation, because we’re clueless to what this word preceding Thirsday is. It’s word coming from Middle English, Old French (mandé), and Latin (mandatum) which essentially means commandment. It was this day that Jesus washed the disciples feet, gave the commandment to love one another, and to remember him in gathering together by sharing the Lord’s Supper. Throughout the year we celebrate this meal, and forget about its humble beginnings. A shared meal with friends made sacred with the sharing of bread and wine on the eve of the worst day in Jesus’ human life.

We now come to Friday, that we call Good Friday. It is on this day we remember with solemn hearts the sacrifice that Jesus, makes for us out of God’s great love for each of us. On this day we take time to be humbled, sometimes to the point if tears, of the great sacrifice Jesus makes for us. We slow down and realize that the story of Christianity isn’t just about a cute baby in a stable or just about resurrection. It is on this day that we remember that the story is about life, AND death, AND new life.

Let us prepare our hearts and minds for the joy of the Easter Sunday, even when it may be a solemn journey along the way.

Self-Care 101

Are you good at taking care of yourself or at making yourself a priority? If you’re anything like most women that I know, the answer is probably no. We all talk a big game about how we’re going to exercise more, eat better, drink more water, and take more bubble baths (or other relaxing activities). But at the end of the day it doesn’t happen, and it’s all just a lot of talk.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not always the best about self-care, but it’s something I’m continually striving to be better about. I’m also someone who encourages those around me to be better about caring for themselves too. This is why wellness is going to be a new recurring theme on HebrewDawn. Today we’re going to talk about the why and the how of making self care a priority.

Why do we need to make this a priority?

Your body NEEDS exercise for your continued health and well-being
Your body NEEDS to rest so that you can be refreshed and renewed
Your mind NEEDS you to continue learning for increased memory
Your mind NEEDS to rest so that it continue to learn

Are you noticing a trend about our minds and bodies? I don’t think any of us want to see our bodies become weak, out of shape, or unhealthy. Just as we want our bodies to be healthy, we also don’t want to see them overtaxed and unable to continue. In the same vein, we’d like to think that our minds will remain sharp as a tack, rather than forgetful. In all of this finding balance is key, and requires commitment on our own part. How we each go about taking care of ourselves might be different, but it still needs to happen.

How are we going to make this a priority?

START making yourself a priority .
Make exercise and learning a part of your routine.
Find something that interests you and learn more about it.
Practice the art of saying no.

No one else is going to make you stop, rest, and care for yourself if you are not willing to do it. The people who love you and care about you might encourage you to slow down, but they most certainly cannot make you. What if you started saying no to the things that are keeping you from doing what you need to do for your own self-care? Far too often we’re afraid to say no to someone out of fear for how the other person will feel, but we fail to think about how this will make us feel. What if you did say no from time to time?

I’ve had a friend recently say that she generally focuses on the destination not the journey. Like myself, and many other women I know, she’s constantly on the go and not the best at slowing down. Now due to a recent injury, she has HAD to stop running at full-speed, slow down and enjoy the journey not the destination. How different would life be if we allowed ourselves to focus on the journey AND the destination? This could look like your schedule being less chaotic and full of things that bring you the most joy. In the realm of self-care, this would look like taking care of yourself being the norm, and not something special you have to do

Where can you make exercise, rest, and learning part of your routine?

Coming Soon: specific ways we can care for our bodies, brains, and more!

Announcement

Happy Monday! I shared on Friday that there are some things in the works for HebrewDawn, and I couldn’t wait to tell you! Some may have noticed that there has been a routine developing as to the type of material and topics posted (Mondays – motherhood, Wednesdays – faith, and Fridays – fun). There will still be a routine to what is posted and when, but there will be a little bit of a shift. Are you ready to hear what it is?
Drum roll please….

Mondays will remain motherhood and motivation focused, but that is not all. There is a new series coming your way and YOU are invited to be a part of it!

Throughout this series we’ll hear stories from other moms, answering some of our questions, sharing their stories, and helping us know that we’re not alone on this motherhood journey. We will hear from moms with children of all ages, AND veteran moms who have survived living with kids and then had them leave the nest. So how do you get to be a part of this? If you have questions for these moms or if you would be interested in being featured, leave a comment or send me a message.

Wednesdays will be taking on a new focus from what they’ve been. Now the focus will be on wellness, and it will be from a 360 perspective. We will take a look at wellness through the lens of fitness, diet, heart, and mind. To enrich our conversations on this topic, be on the lookout for a new voice coming to HebrewDawn as a regular contributor!

Fridays will continue be a mix of faith and fun. This should be a positive way to finish out our week, refresh our souls, and get us ready for the coming week.

Thank you for being a faithful reader, and I hope you’ll be a part of the excitement however you may contribute to the conversation (questions, comments, or sharing a story too). As always I’ll hope you’ll spread the word to others of all that’s going on and all that’s coming so we can each be encourage and inspired as we journey together.

Happy Monday!

Hello Sunshine

How has the weather been where you are this week? It’s be delightfully sunny, and it’s put me in the best mood. I forgot how much the sunshine affects my mood for the good. Despite having a VERY full week, it’s been manageable with all the sunshine!

So there are some fun things in the works for HebrewDawn, and I cannot wait until I can share them with you. If you follow the blog on Facebook, you’ll have an idea about one thing that’s coming. As for the other, you’ll have to hold tight for now. Just know that I’m excited for what’s coming, and I hope it encourages and inspires you on your journey.

Now it’s time for some Friday Fun!

Ready to feel old, or at least thankful for how far we’ve come? Check out this video of teens reacting to Windows 95. Oh the days of dial-up!

Have you seen this story about this mom of triplets? Apparently a Delta employee gave her a first-class seat so she could pump in private! I’m super impressed this mama is nursing three babies! One was hard enough for me. So glad this mama received well deserved rock star treatment!

Do you like to bargain shop? Only a couple more days left for Target’s sales and coupons on clothing! I was able to snag some super cute things for my daughter, nieces, and nephews.

Oh toddlers! They have such a way with words, or making them amusing for us adults!

Are you a candle person? I love having a few around the house to keep things smelling delightful. I’ve tried one of the Herb & Irma candles, and thinking about trying more. Do you have a signature home scent? I’m thinking mine might be lemon and sage, because I want this candle burning all the time.

Have anything fun going on this weekend? We have dinner with friends, an ordination service, and a baby shower So much celebration in such a short window of time.

Have a beautiful weekend!

Quiet Time

I shared the other week that I find it most helpful to wake up earlier than my family and making sure to begin my day with quiet time. That post has led to some folks asking what resources I like to use and how I do my quiet time. So I thought I’d share today!

I’ll begin with opening Shauna Niequist devotional Savor: Living Abundantly Where You Are, As You Are to see what the selected passage of the day is:

Next I’ll read the entire chapter for the selected passage of scripture in my bible. As I go along, I highlight any passages that my “jump” out to me. I try not to analyze or evaluate the passage that sticks out to me, but follow where the spirit leads.

Now I return back to my devotional book to read what thoughts the writer (Shauna in this case) has to say about the piece of scripture I just read. Then I take some time to reflect on the verses of scripture I highlighted in my Bible and what the devotional had to say. Some mornings this can look like me sitting in quiet meditation and prayer. Other mornings, like my ideal morning, I’ll take the time to write out the verses I highlighted and my prayer for the day.

No matter what happens with my time constraints for a given morning, my focus is first on reading the bible, then considering thoughts of a devotional writer. I find that devotionals are a great start for quiet time for me to know what to read, and provide variety so I’m not reading straight through the bible. I will admit that I’m fairly particular about the devotionals I use because some writers like to cherry pick scripture, aka pick scripture that fits what they’re trying to say, but the verse may not mean what they think. I do recognize that many devotionals are written by folks with no theological training, so their writing comes from the heart, not necessarily from a scholarly perspective. But the Bible scholar in me dies a little inside when I see this happen and I turn away from what could have been a great resource.
I will admit it’s hard for me to find a daily devotional written by a biblical scholar of the Old and New testament that provides the reflective imagery I personally desire. I will accept what I can get and have have found three favorite devotionals to this day:

Savor: Living Abundantly Where You Are, As You Are by Shauna Niequist
Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

How do you spend your quiet time?

Please note there are some affiliate links in this post. As always, I only link to products I trust and use!

Preparing for Daylight Saving Time with Children

In six days daylight saving time begins, and I’m excited for the extra hour of sunshine this provides us. As a parent I’m not excited about what this time change does to my child’s sleep. This is our third round of time changes, and whether you gain or lose an hour of sleep, as a parent I dare say you always lose. This year I am determined to be prepared!

What’s the game plan? Beginning with bedtime Wednesday evening, my daughter will be going to bed 15 minutes earlier than night before. Over the course of the next four nights, her bedtime will get reduced to being an hour earlier than normal and getting her on schedule for the time change. So for us this will look like an 8:00 bedtime tonight and tomorrow, 7:45 on Wednesday, 7:30 on Thursday, 7:15 on Friday, and then 7:00 on Saturday.

The best laid plans…I had hoped to make it a gradual process throughout the week of making bedtime ten minutes earlier over the course of a week, but with our schedule for the week it won’t quite work. We have a group of church friends coming over for dinner tomorrow and VHP will be devastated to leave “the party” early. Friday is going to be our biggest challenge as we have company coming for dinner, and I don’t think she will be too keen on going to bed at 7:15.

I’m hoping and praying our plan works so that the daylight saving time transition goes a little smoother than in the past. Have you had luck with your kids getting accustomed to the time change?

Happy Weekend!

It is the first Friday or March and I couldn’t be more excited!

Reasons I love March…

it is my birth month
spring begins
spring festivals and outdoor concerts begin again
pretty flowers
more outdoor fun with the family

Time for some of my favorites of the week!

For my mom friends with newborns and babies fighting sleep, this is for you….thoughts every sleep deprived mother has ever had according to Amy Poehler.

Would you let your baby nap outside in the cold or your elementary aged child take the subway on their own? Check out these intriguing parenting trends from around the world that haven’t caught in the U.S.

Kids say the funniest things! Do your kids have funny ways of mispronouncing words? My daughter is starting to say “jumping” correctly, but still slips up and says “gumping.” It’s especially funny to me when she’s reading Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed with me.

Enjoy your first weekend of March!

The Joyful Feast

Worship with a two year old may not always be as calm or introspective as it was before having a child, but it has definitely become more meaningful. I’ve shared before that we try each week to keep VHP in service with us and she is beginning to really understand the different parts of the service. She has come to love passing the peace, loves to sing, and really looks forward to communion (Eucharist). Watching my little girl’s faith blossom and grow is one of my greatest joys.

A few weeks ago I had a moment that nearly made this mama cry watching her little girl in worship. As is often the case, we didn’t make it through the entire sermon before we needed to step out of the sanctuary into the hallways to get some wiggles out. Thankfully we can still hear what’s happening through the speaker and soon it was time for communion. VHP was anxious to head back in as soon as the pastor began to say the words of institution, break the bread, and pour wine (juice in this case) into the cup. When the feast was set we made the attempt to quietly head back to our seats and wait our turn, but VHP was too excited to be quiet. She squealed and tried to run forward, and I managed to catch her before she took off for the front of the sanctuary. Miraculously this did not result in a toddler fit of screaming!

source: https://stocksnap.io/photo/P7JB9GA027

We waited our turns and held hands as we walked forward. The church member who was serving the bread leaned down so VHP could help me break off a piece of bread for her. This little girl tore off the biggest piece of bread she’s ever had for communion! Then our pastor leaned down to her level with the cup so she could dip the bread herself. VHP then slurped up her bread and juice as if it was the best meal of her life, and had the biggest smile on her face. Mommy may have helped break the bread, but she essentially had communion all on her own. Watching how our church family helped her partake of this meal put a whole new meaning on the phrase “the joyful feast of the Lord.”

Mom’s Purse Has It All

The For the last year I have been trying to reduce how much I carry in my bag and debating what NEEDS to be in there. The Girl Scout in me wants to be prepared, but inevitably my purse turns out to be heavier than necessary. Now that my daughter has said goodbye to diapers, I no longer need to carry a diaper bag and my purse. This is great from one perspective, but the question remains what do I NEED in my bag?

Here is the current mom bag purse of the moment:

This was a TJ Maxx find last year. I love that this bag is a neutral color so it matches almost everything, and it has a removable strap so that I can wear it like a crossbody. The other great about this bag, but also dangerous, is that it is nice and big so it can carry everything!

I don’t blame the bag for it getting too full and heavy, but I do blame what’s inside. Here are the current contents minus some receipts, checkbook (because I don’t carry it all the time), and random things that didn’t belong needed to be put away.

1. Kate Spade Wallet (similar) 2. Pentel Pencil and Pentel Energel Pen 3. My work iPhone 6 in a Spigen wallet case. 4. Coach Wristlet (similar) 5. Sugar Lip Balm, Rose Salve, and bareMinerals concealer 6. Ruby Stone nail file, tweezers and nail clippers 7. hair ties and safety pins 8. car keys 9. personal iPhone 6 in a LifeProof case

1. Greenroom notebook 2. Jonathan Adler for Skip Hop bag (came with our diaper bag) 3. snacks (GoGo Squeez and Annie’s cheddar bunnies) 4. business card case purchased at a local Hallmark store. 5. Plan toys cars (2 of 3 in the set) 6. Honest wipes 7. Apple earbuds and LifeProof adapter

I know that none of these things are absolute necessities, but I do believe that the wallet and phones are purse must haves. But where do I cut back and carry less? I’m working on keeping less in the coach wristlet. It’s not uncommon for me to have every size bandaid known to man in the wristlet, but I have reduced the number to have only a few along with the items listed above. I prefer to use my own pen when I’m out because of germs. The notebook is great for making notes so I don’t forget things (hello mommy brain is no joke), plus it keeps the toddler entertained with the pencil when we’re out. The kid items and snacks aren’t always in my purse, but they don’t always make it out after the weekend is up. Thankfully I’ve been good about removing the extra panties and wet bag so I don’t have those fall out of my bag during work.

So what do you keep in your purse? Are you someone that likes to be super prepared or are ou more of a minimalist? Thoughts on what to scale back on in my own bag?

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