Lately my daughter has been REALLY into helping us do things around the house. Her current favorites are dishes and cooking. There seems to be no limit to what she wants to help us do. In the moment it may not feel like VHP is being all that helpful, but I remind myself she is learning how to do things on her own. She’s becoming independent.
If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you may have seen the above picture of VHP helping put away dishes. At first glance you see spoons, forks, and knives not where they belong. What I learned a few nights ago at dinner, is that my little girl was learning exactly where everything belonged. She got down from her chair at dinner and told us, “be right back okay.” She then went to the drawer above, opened it and started reaching for what she needed. She couldn’t quite see what she wanted, so she turned to get a chair. She frequently uses a chair to stand on and watch us cook or put away dishes. Once she got the chair next to my husband, she climbed up and got herself a spoon. I guess a fork wasn’t what she wanted to eat with that evening.
In the moment I thought to myself, God help me, this girl will be so independent. I quickly realized I needed to change my thoughts on this. It’s not God help me, but God bless me, this girl will be so independent. Yes, she is going to test my patience in waiting for her to do things herself, but she will be able to do things herself. Like my husband and I always say, we’re not raising a child, but raising a person. This independent little girl will one day be an independent woman, and there’s no other way I’d rather her be.
Please do not forget to take care of yourself! You have worked hard for months to grow this sweet baby in your womb AND to bring this fresh baby into the world. You deserve to take time to care for yourself too. I mentioned in my baby registery post last week a couple items needed for taking care of the breastfeeding mama, but I didn’t get into all of them. It takes the sisterhood of motherhood to learn how to care for ourselves and our little ones. I’m thankful for the other moms who shared these tips with me, and I hope you find these tips helpful too.
If you have not started using nipple cream after each nursing or pumping session, start using it EVERY SINGLE TIME. Don’t wait until your nipples hurt. After a few days your nipples will hurt and you may question why you’re feeding this demanding child all the time. Don’t let this pain scare you, because this discomfort will pass SOON.
Go make or have someone make you a couple cups of tea and enjoy them.Place the tea bags on a plate and put them in the fridge for an hour or so ( until they’re nice and cold). Place the tea bags on your nipples and allow them to sooth your discomfort. The tannins in the tea help to alleviate the discomfort you may feel in the early days of breastfeeding.
It’s okay to live in nursing tanks! Throughout my maternity leave (and after returning to work), I paired these with a cardigan for home. If I left the house I’d another shirt and I was set for nursing on the go. I could pull the shirt up, pop open the nursing tank and have the cardigan to provide privacy on the sides. Over time it got easier to nurse discretely without even using a nursing cover.
Know that nursing sleep bras are worth the money! They keep the nursing pads in place you from leaking breast milk all over you and your bed. They’re easier to use when you wake up are woken up by a hungry baby to nurse.
Keep nursing every few hours to keep your milk supply up, but know that it gets easier. Eventually my daughter had enough head and neck control that I could nurse on my side. Which meant, I laid in bed while half asleep and my little girl did all the work. #winning
The laundry, dishes, and cleaning can wait. Anybody can wash and clean up, but you need to heal and bond with your baby.
Know that you are not crazy to have your emotions swing from high to low and all over the place. It takes time after having a baby for your hormones to get in balance. So go laugh, cry, and feel all the feels.
Say yes to offers for help. because they want to help you. You can try and do it all, but you don’t have to do it all.
Ask for help. If people are not offering you the help you need, ask for it. Sometimes people just do not know what to do, but are happy to do it if you ask.
People will want to come see you and your new baby, but you don’t have to say yes. Saying not right now is an acceptable answer.
Don’t forget about you in the midst of all the diapers, feeding, and bathing. Your self care is critical to healing, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Newborns are sweet and cuddly, but they are also a lot of work. You will be overcome with love for this tiny person in your arms and wonder if you’re doing it right. Know that you ARE doing a great job mama! Reach out to your fellow mom friends for support. If you do not have mom friends yet, know that this mama right here is here to support you too. Feel free to send me a note here you need it.
Welcome back! Today I’m covering even more of our baby registry favorites! You can read part one of my baby registry must haves here where I share our nursery and on the go favorites. Then read part two where I share our baby essentials, such as clothes, bathing, and feeding. Today I’m sharing the items that are nice to have items and the items, but are not absolute necessities. I’m also sharing the items that we have learned about from friends and family that we had no idea we needed. Happy shopping registering!
So babies really aren’t that complicated, and don’t need much besides breast milk or formula, diapers, and clothes. Everything else we like to get makes life a little easier being that it’s baby sized (such as towels and blankets). Then there are the items that can be really nice to have, but at the end of the day really are kind of unnecessary, but they’re still definitely nice to have.
Swing – these are great to have to give your little one a place to relax so you can free up your arms. I would highly encourage choosing one that has a power cord. A swing gets used so much that it’s great to have it plug into an outlet so you do not have to buy batteries all the time. We borrowed a swing from my sister-in-law, but this one looks like a great option if we had to pick our own. I love that this is a swing, and a bouncer so you’re not having to have multiple items in your house. We also borrowed a 4Moms mamaRoo, which was great for its small footprint. Our daughter preferred the standard swing, but 4Moms did come out with the rockaRoo which is more like a traditional baby swing like swing. I’m definitely inclined to try it out if/when we have another since we already have a bouncer.
Bouncey Seat – we are happy with this one and like that it’s not just for infants, it grows with your child to be used as a toddler chair. Bouncey seats are nice to have stashed somewhere else in the house especially if you have more than one level.
Seat Protector – be careful with getting one of these as many will void the warranty of your car seat. Some companies make one that you can use and that they recommend. Since we use a Britax seat, we’re good with this one that we have.
Car Seat Mirror – we have one of these in my car and my husband’s car too. We love that we can if she’s in fact okay since she is still rear facing at 2+, or if she’s just yanking our chain. We also love that it has a light on it for at night to see the little one. I will caution that folks should be careful and only look when stopped.
Toys are great to add to the registry too, because you will want some things to entertain your wee one. Here are some of our favorites:Crawl-Along Snail
These Little Rings are perfect for itty bitty babies and for many months afterwards. So many of the toys we had for our daughter as a newborn were way too heavy, but these were just right for her little hands and muscles. This was a favorite toy well past the first year.
This Snail Mirror has been a big hit with my niece and daughterand Hana. It’s great for when they discover mirrors and want to look at themselves. Plus it’s very responsive to the hits and motions of the baby playing with it. This was a favorite toy the entire first year.
This Activity Table is wonderful! It’s great for when they learn to pull up to standing, but also great before then too. When our daughter was itsy bitsy we removed a couple legs and propped with the other leg. Our little girl loved staring at the lights and listening to the music during tummy time. She did tummy time twice as long when we use this. It continued as a favorite when learning to sit up with the legs off and laid on the floor. This is still a favorite at two years old!
O’balls are another big favorite in our house. We had a couple including the football for our daughter (they’re not just for boys :D). They’re super light and the holes make it easy for itsy bitsies to hold. Highly recommend these. They even make rattles too!
These Blocks – were a hit in our house! When our daughter was little, they were soft enough for her to chew on. As she got older they didn’t hurt when she stacked them and then toppled over. Favorite well into the second year when she graduated to big kid blocks.
Along the way trials and testing of our parenting sanity have come up, but thankfully other friends and family have shared their great discoveries. These items are still on the nice to have list, but I’d dare say, they’re worth adding to your must have list.
Sleepy Baby Nail Clippers – some parents are great at cutting itsy bitsy baby nails, but I”m just not one of those parents. My poor daughter had a bleeding finger on mu
NasalClear® Battery Operated Nasal Aspirator – the aspirator you get at the hospital works great and is worth getting multiples while you’re there. A time then comes that your baby gets all squirmy and angry about cleaning their nose. Now enters this battery operated one that works like a champ. Makes the whole process so much faster.
Teething Necklace – was an on the go and baby wearing game changer. This would provide “entertainment” on the go, and was still fashionable. Had this aqua and almost bought it in several colors.
Amber Necklace – when baby starts drooling ALL THE TIME and getting fussy over teeth, the need for this became apparent. I’m not convinced this worked, but I’m definitely not convinced it doesn’t work. There are days this has fallen off, and baby girl definitely seemed crankier. At just over two and still getting teeth, the necklace still stays on around the clock.
I hope you found this list helpful. It takes a village to figure out this whole parenting thing, especially since no instruction book comes with the arrival of the little bundles. And just remember, it’s not a one size fits all. What worked for us, may not for you. What works for another family, may not work for you. Or it may be some combo of it all. Just know that other mamas already love and support you, and that we’re here to help. Next Monday, I’ll share some of my important items and ways to care for the postpartum and breastfeeding mama.
Welcome back! Today I’m covering more of our baby registry favorites! You can read part one of my baby registry must haves here, where I share our nursery and on the go favorites. Figuring out all the things you need can be overwhelming, but I hope in sharing what’s worked for us that it will help you! Below I’ve tried to list quantities, to give you an idea of how much you’ll really need. Keep in mind babies do not need layer upon layer of clothing and blankets, dress them how you will be comfortable. I do list having multiples of certain items only because accidents happen, and it’s always nice to have a backup. Happy shopping registering!
This little thing should have been shared last week, so I’m sorry for leaving it off. This bag serves so many purposes, goes some many places, and deserves more attention than it usually gets. Think of a diaper bag like a good purse, go for the good quality bag! From my personal use, I highly recommend the Skip Hop diaper bags. Note of caution, many stores carry skip hop in store, but it tends to be the cheaper ones ($30 price range), not the well made ones ($55+). We have this diaper bag in a different pattern, which is well thought out storage pockets and amenities. One great feature of the bag are the small straps that connect to the main strap for hooking to the stroller. These keep it from taking up needed room in your stroller basket or hitting you in the legs. I will add that as our daughter grew, we realized a larger bag can be nice to have too. Reason being that her clothes took up more room, she needed more things for entertainment and cloth diapers take up more room than disposables. We later bought this bag in black from Land’s End. This bag has great storage pockets and is great for longer days out. I Unfortunately it they have discontinued it, but I really hope they bring it back with an added long strap. In the end we still love her Skip Hop the most, because we can wear it like a cross body bag, and attach it more easily to the stroller.
I firmly believe it’s best to keep things as simple as possible. Register for the things you need, because people will buy you lots of cute outfits, so don’t feel like you have register for the cute things unless there something you just have to have. Register for items in all sizes from newborn to 12 months. People are great about buying for you items in those early sizes, but seem to forget that these sweet little loves grow rather quickly.
4 Gowns – are perfect for the newborn stage whether you have a boy or a girl. They make diaper changes so much easier keeping you from having to deal with all those snaps, especially at night.
8-10 Zip-up Sleep & Plays – are essential when you’re not leaving them in a plain onesie or dressing them up in something cute for going out.
3-4 Long-Sleeve White Onesies – are great alone, especially when swaddled. Also great when paired with pants or leggings.
2-4 Comfy Cozy Pants – are great when babies aren’t getting all swaddled up and perfect for when they’re on the move. Jeans are cute, but aren’t necessary until they’re much bigger.
2-4 Leggings – for my little girl, I have loved leggings in all sizes. Easy to put on and they match almost anything. I almost always have at least two pairs in black with some other colors mixed in. I discovered Carter’s leggings late in the game, but they’re not a fast favorite for their quality and length.
4-5 Packs of Baby Hangers – I have found it’s nice to have plenty off hangers. I like having the next couple sizes in the closet to see what we have and what we still need to get.
Hats – I didn’t register for any, and I’m glad for that. The best hat will be the one(s) the hospital gives you. I don’t know why, but they just work and stay on soooo much better. I never used the others ones gives to us unless it was the thick winter style for going out somewhere.
LOTS of Socks – babies are masters at getting these bad boys off ALL THE TIME. Make sure to have at 10-12 socks in each size, because you’ll always be on the hunt for a pair or a lost sock.
Laundry Detergent – to save you money, you don’t have to use the specialty baby laundry detergent if you buy free and clear of most any brands. We have been using free and clear for quite some time for my husband and we learned it’s perfectly fine for babies. Plus the free and clear is a lot cheaper than specialty stuff.
Now that you have baby dressed, you also have to keep them clean! Through trial and error, plus sensitive baby skin, we slowly figured out the best items.
4 Towels – People will give you an obscene amount of towels. I’m not sure why people feel the need to do this, but I guess they just think you will have a really stinky/dirty baby. We were gifted the swaddle design ones and they were definitely our favorite. They’re super soft and really absorbent. I wish they made an adult towel!
Washcloths – Like towels, people like to give you a lot of washcloths, but not as much as towels. For bathtime our favorite are still the swaddle design ones, but for mealtime basic baby washcloths or regular washcloths work just as well.
Baby wash – The mustela two-in-one was what we used the most. Through my sister-in-law we learned that the Dove sensitive bar soap is great too. Those two products are all we used on our little one.
Lotion – we didn’t use lotion at first as some say it’s not recommended to use lotion on them as itty bitties. Our friend and pediatrician recommended using vaseline if there were any really dry spots. Once our daughter got older we started using this Aveeno baby lotion.
Tub – These are nice to have, but don’t feel like you have to get the most expensive one out there. We didn’t use this one, but definitely wish we had. I’ve heard GREAT things.
4-5 Swaddle Blankets – we registered for ones similar to these, but were gifted these. Both are great, but I dare say the later may be my favorites. The reason being is they have the best card that comes with them and attached tag that shows you how to do a perfect swaddle. Even with all my experience with babies, I was/still am the worst at swaddling. With that helpful tag, I could swaddle almost as well as my husband.
Receiving blankets – Not a major fan and we really didn’t use ours at all. I used one a couple times to help with tummy time (rolled up and stuck under Hana’s chest/arms), but I could have easily done it with my swaddle blankets by Aiden + Anais (which I LOVE…well almost as much as my swaddle designs swaddle blankets!!).
2 Velcro Swaddles – I highly recommend the Halo Sleepsack Swaddles and would suggest getting two of these in newborn and small. We tried these, but my daughter could always bust out of them. The great thing about the Halo ones, is that they are easy to securely swaddle your little one for a restful night of sleep. Plus, when junebug gets bigger, they can be used as wearable blanket not just a swaddle. I’m all for multi-use items!
2 Sleep Sacks – I recommend getting two in every single size. Our daughter stayed in these until she moved out of her crib. These are great for making sure they stay warm year round. The added bonus is they can’t climb out of the crib when wearing it too!
10-20 Burp Cloths – many folks use these, which work great for everyday use and are just what we used too. Our favorite “nice” burp cloths were these that were gift to us. People like to make and gift the cute styles, but the swaddle design ones worked the best in our experience.
8-10 Everyday Bibs – Having bibs that do not have the waterproof liner are almost a complete waste of time. Once your little one starts drooling, or if they spit-up a lot, the bib won’t do much without the waterproof liner.When you’re in the store, you’ll be able to feel the liner, and that’s the type you’ll want..
4-6 Nursing Tanks – You can’t forget to take care of yourself too! After coming home from the hospital and then pumping at work, these were the best. They’re great for pairing with another shirt and a cardigan for nursing on the go. If I was wearing that set-up, I didn’t feel exposed at all. I wore these and these all the time.
Breast Milk Storage Bags – You will need LOTS of these if you’re planning to pump. Tip I learned from a few people when freezing milk – lay bags flat in the freezer with as much air removed from the bag as possible. This way they take up less room to store and can be stacked and stored easier.
LOTS of Nursing Pads. I used these by Lansinoh the whole time I was nursing. I then tried to use the Target brand because they’re less expensive and that wasn’t the best decision. Turns out the Lansinoh stick better! As for the reusable kind, they’re a good idea in theory, but they’re not as absorbent. I wished they worked better, because I generally prefer usable over disposable. After I leaked through them onto my clothes multiple times, I was done.
2 Containers of Nipple Cream – This is a necessity from day one in the hospital. I used the lansinoh brand at first, but realized I liked the medela brand better. Then l I discovered this best nipple cream known to mama. Start using nipple cream from day one and don’t wait until it hurts. Also, it’s great to have a thing of cream with you on the go and wherever you primarily nurse/pump.
2-4 Bottle Brushes – Over time we have learned that we are big fans of the Oxo Tot products. They work great, are well made, and have you in mind as a parent.
Dishwasher Basket – This is an essential in our house! This is great for easily washing bottle parts, pacifiers, sippy cups and miscellaneous small things. We have this one, but honestly wish I registered for this one since it’s bigger..
8 Bottles – I’m a huge fan of the Dr. Brown’s bottles and know MANY families found that these work best. I would only get the 8 ounce bottles, as you can always put less but you can’t more in the 4 ounce bottles. Unfortunately for me, my daughter was not a fan of the Dr. B bottles. I think it may be because we opted for the glass, and she wanted to hold the bottle herself. She preferred the Medela bottles from my breastpump. So just know you may have to test things out to figure out what works for your baby, but Dr. Brown’s is usually a great place to start.
The day will come around 6 months that your baby no longer needs just breast milk or formula. You’ve not hit the stage of having a baby in the early of stages of being their way to being a big kid!
Baby Led Weaning Book – I plan to write more about our experience with Baby Led Weaning, but I cannot recommend it enough. No need to buy or make baby food, but helping your baby learn to eat real food from the beginning. Our daughter has been a great eater, and we attribute this largely to BLW. With doing this, many of the baby items are not necessary.
Space Saver High Chair – This is great because it can fit on any chair, and takes up a lot less space than a standard high chair. Great thing about this too is that it serves as a booster seat once you no longer need the tray. Plus, it’s easy to take with you if you need it for dinner at the home of family or friends.
2 Bibs – The Baby Bjorn soft bib is hands down our favorite. Paired with our DIY towel bib, these two catch any food messes.
2 Training Plates – great for when your little one is mastering the art of using a fork and spoon.
2 Snack Cups – after trying these, we discovered the Oxo Tot snack cup and it revolutionized snack time on the go. The top screws on so your little one doesn’t pull the top off and has a handle making it easy to hold. AND it has a lid to prevent messes while in your diaper bag.
3-4 Utensil Sets – We loved these Skip Hop Zootensils because the handle was the perfect size for our daughter to hold and have a good grip.
4-6 Straw Cups – We have this one and this one. The first is our favorite because it’s free of plastic, but the later is a close second because it doesn’t leak. We started with sippy cups but wish we skipped them all together. Using a straw is a life skill, but sippy cups useage isn’t really necessary.
Diapering
Diapers – You’ll have to figure out what works best for you and your little one, but add them to your registry. We love using cloth diapers, but I understand if you prefer disposables. As far as brands go, I found the target brand diapers to be pretty good the first weeks home from the hospital until we switched to cloth.. They’re comparable to the pampers swaddlers and a LOT cheaper. When w needed to use disposables later on (traveling or battling a yeast infection) we used the seventh generation or the Honest Company because our daughter was allergic to everything else that wasn’t all cotton.
2-3 Changing Pad Covers – Any brand should work. My mother in law made ours, so I can’t give you a link to what we have.
I hope you found this list helpful. I’ll be back Wednesday to share the last of my registry favorites, such as the nice to have items and the items we didn’t know we needed. Next Monday, I’ll share some of my important items and ways to care for the postpartum and breastfeeding mama.
In recent months, I have had MANY family members and friends share that they were expecting. On top of all of that, I have also had several friends recently have babies, and are navigating the early months with an infant. With so many friends and family members having babies lately it seems like a fitting time to share some of our favorite baby registry items. Over time, we have learned by trial and error which items should have been on our list, or we wish we would have known to add to our list. Not that we regret paying for the items we’ve discovered, but every little bit that you don’t have to pay for helps. If you’re looking for items to put on your registry or to buy for someone, here is Part I in my baby registry series, focusing on the nursery and on the go gear.
Changing tables – I think a special piece of furniture is a waste. I recommend getting a changing pad and putting it on top of a dresser. The dresser will grow with the child just like the convertible crib.
Bassinets are nice, but not a necessity. We borrowed one from a friend. If we have another we plan to use the bassinet of a pack n play.
La-Z-Boy Glider Recliner – this will be a lifesaver at the end of pregnancy when it’s hard to sleep, and during long snuggles sessions with your little one. This cost more than most rockers/gliders, but this is also much more durable. We definitely plan to use this long after it’s in the nursery.
Mobile – these are nice, but not a necessity. We liked that our was a fun DIY project. Between my mom, stepdad, and I we made a cute little one for my daughter’s room.
On The Go
Britax B-Safe infant Car Seat – They have since updated the seat, and I still hear great things about it. We had friends and family do research on this seat and use it first, which led to us using it. Loved it, and would definitely use again.
B-safe Base – If you have more than one car, it’s really nice to be able to simply click the car seat in and go.
Britax Convertible Car Seat – we have the Britax Pavilion, but do your reasearch to figure out what will work best for you. The facebook group Car Seats for the Littles can be a great resource for figuring out what works for you based on your needs and what will fit in your car.
Britax B-Ready – We have loved that this stroller worked with our infant seat, had good wheels for all occasions, and can become a double stroller with a second seat. We knew when shopping for a stroller we hoped to have more kids, and figured it was best to get one that could do double duty. For kids of different ages, we heard this was better than the Baby Jogger City Select .
I am a huge fan of baby wearing, and have learned it’s not one size fits all occasions. I love my ergo for grab and go, my moby for newborn snuggles, and my nunmoochie woven wrap for longer periods of time and warmer weather.
Play yard – I don’t really think you can go wrong with most of them. We had a basic one that we got for a great deal and we used for a long time. It’s now at my mom’s for grandma babysitting use. We then upgraded to a now have a Graco that has more features like a bassinet level, changing pad, and such. I do think it’s nice to have one that does multiple jobs so you don’t have to buy a bassinet and have stuff everywhere.
Check back Monday for more, when I’ll cover more of the basic essentials (clothing, bathing, feeding).
*Please note these opinions are all my own, none of this has been sponsored. What worked for me, my child, and my family may not work for you.*
I wrote a couple of months ago about the question many of us get about having more kids, but never came right out said where I stood on the issue. I don’t know that the answer is a simple yes or no. If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have said no or may be to more kids. 6 months ago the answer would be yes, no, and may be. Today the answer is more of a yes, than a may be or a no, because my husband and I would like for our daughter to have a sibling.
To me it’s funny to think that my answer would have been no or only may be to the question of having more kids. I have worked with children in some capacity for so long and have always loved babies and children. At one point in my life I wanted a houseful of kids, and dreamed having at least 3 or 4. Then came caring for myself after having a baby. I LOVE my daughter, and feel like motherhood with regards to her is going really well. It’s the caring for myself piece that I have struggled with in motherhood. It’s this caring for myself that makes me nervous about having more children.
I know what I could have done better for myself after having VHP, which was speak up about needing help. Don’t get me wrong, I did have some great help from family that I cherish still today. I also know that I should have spoken up for more help, because many folks figured I was fine when it came to caring for my daughter due to all my childcare experience (9 years in a preschools, 5.5 years as a nanny, and started babysitting 20 years ago). Little did they know, that even with experience, you still need a break and you still need help. I was good about sleeping when the baby slept, but sometimes it’s nice to sleep alone too. I know that I will be better at speaking up if we’re able to have another child.
To you other mamas out there that aren’t sure if you want another or that you’re ready for another one, know that you’re not alone. If you’re never ready, that’s okay too. You have to make the decision that is best for you and your family. I’m thankful to the other mamas who let me know it’s okay not to be ready right away too. I don’t know when we’ll have another one, but I do know that there is baby shaped hole in my heart now.
No matter where we are on this parenting journey, we all have a story to tell and MANY things on our to do list. At some point we get asked the well meaning question of…
Usually we respond with what do you mean? This question may be asked because you’re a stay-at-home-mom, the mother of multiples, work away from the home, or have children close together in age. Honestly, I could rattle on the reasons they’re asking, but I’m sure you’ve been there. I guess folks want to understand how we manage all the things on our ever growing to-do lists? May be they want to know how we keep our house appearing clean? I’m not always sure what the it is, but the question is always asked. I also know that I have been guilty of asking that very question, and for that I’m sorry.
Depending on the day, my answer may vary. I think that I get asked the question because I work away from the home and we stay busy as a family. The fact that we’re on the go a bunch isn’t something I would necessarily change, but I know that it comes at a cost. If someone were to ask me this week, my answer would be that I just don’t and can’t do it all.
Over time I’ve developed a schedule for getting things done. At home, I alternate what gets cleaned, rather than give up an entire Saturday or Sunday for cleaning the house. And sometimes, I just don’t get some things clean because I’d rather have fun with my family than have a spotless house. Other days I go on a rampage to get it all done. Don’t get me wrong, I love for my house to be tidy and clean all the time, but who’s got time to spend all of it cleaning?!
Next time you’re asked how do you do it, just know whomever is asking thinks you have it all together. Little do they know, you’re hanging on by a thread. That some nights you’re leaving the dishes in the sink until the following night. That the floors haven’t been mopped in ages. And you have no idea how you’re making it from one day to the next. Here’s to the easy days, the tough days, and the days better than we could have imagined!
Many say that they are trying to raise a child, but my husband and I routinely say that we are trying to raise a person. Our goal is not to have an 18 year old that is still dependent on us, but a person ready to make it in the world on their own. Granted as a mom you kind of want to be needed, but at the end of the day I want my daughter to be able to stand on her own two feet. Faith is something that has been very important to my husband and I, and nurturing our daughter in her Christian Faith is part of raising a person for us. We’re not always sure that we have it right, but last night gave us a glimmer that we might be on the right track.
https://pixabay.com/en/cherub-cemetery-nature-angel-figure-968811/I’ll share more about what happened last night shortly, but here are some of the things we do to raise our daughter in our faith. As I’ve shared before, we do our best to make it to church each week, and keep her in worship with us. There are weeks that she may drive us crazy with how chatty and wiggly she can be, but that’s also expected for her. We always make sure to bring a variety of toys or quiet activities to keep her entertained and step out of the sanctuary when she gets to be too noisy. Thankfully we can still hear the service in the parlor or hallway outside the sanctuary, so we don’t feel like we’re missing out on too much. No matter how noise our little girl may have been, we always make it back into the sanctuary for communion, as that’s become one of her favorite parts of the service. Slowly but surely she is understanding the rhythm of the service and applying what she understands. Just the other week I noticed that she had bowed her head when the pastor said it was time for the prayer for confession. She didn’t know that this was a prayer she could keep her eyes open for, but she did what she understood she should do for a prayer. Another thing that we do to help grow our daughter’s faith is making prayer a daily part of our life. We have a long established bedtime routine that begins with a story, is followed by a prayer, and ends with a song and kisses. Now that VHP is talking, she helps to name whom or what she would like to pray about. Most nights her cousin and friends from school are top of the list, along with other family member, and mommy and daddy are rarely left off. Sometimes we get some interesting additions, like the potty or swim class. No matter the prayer requests she names, we honor them and add them to the list. It’s been really cute to see how the list has grown over the months, and to hear what matters to her from one day to the next.
Last night we had my mother-in-law over to celebrate her birthday with a special dinner. Like many meals, but especially birthday dinner, we began the meal with prayer. We asked VHP if she’d like to do the prayer and she said yes. I started with the usual “Dear God,” and here is what she said:
Thank you [for] LKG.
Thank you [for] Meghan.
Thank you [for] Jason.
Amen.
LKG is her cousin, Meghan is her aunt, and Jason is her uncle. I was stunned. My little girl at the mere age of two had said her first prayer on her own, and the first person she wanted to pray for was her cousin. Not to be forgotten was her aunt and uncle.
We may not be perfect at this parenting thing. I might not be perfect at teaching her all things I want about being a Christian. But I think we may be onto something with prayer.
I’m not sure how many of you heard President Obama’s speech on Tuesday regarding gun violence, but it is definitely worth a listen. Whether you agree with our president on everything or not, one can’t help but feel compelled to do something about what’s going on in our country after his words. I don’t know what the answers are about gun control, but I do know I want a better place for my daughter.
It’s only been seven weeks since I wrote the post My Heart Hurts and sadly, it still does. The first mass shooting that comes to my mind was Columbine in 1999, which was when I was a sophomore in high school. At that time I knew some about what happened, but over time I learned more. Most of what I learned was about the victims and the community that took care of mending the broken hearts. I don’t recall learning much about the shooters, and I’m thankful for that. In the years since Columbine, we all know that mass shootings have been on the rise. What has also been on the rise is the publicity about those committing these atrocities. I want to hear more about the people who had their life cut short, and the amazing person they were! I want their stories to be able to live on, even when they cannot. This might not put an end to someone committing an awful crime, but this might take away the fame and glory that they’re seeking.
More than anything I do know that I want a better world for your children and mine. I don’t want my daughter to experience lockdown drills to prepare her for if/when the need may arise. I know of parents who talked to their children about alternate plans instead of waiting during a lockdown, but having a specific plan of action to protect themselves in other ways. This is not the conversation we should have to have with our babies, whether they are 4, 8, or 17!
No matter where we may stand on the issue of guns, gun ownership and increased regulations, we have to do something. How can we as an advanced society allow atrocities to continue happening? Even if increased regulations could not have prevented previous mass shootings, it does not mean that it won’t help in the future. I don’t know what this should look like and I don’t have all the answers to such a big issue. I do hope that despite differences, our electedrepresentatives can work together to figure out a solution. Taking all guns away from law abiding Americans is not the answer. Taking guns always from those with mental illness in order to protect themselves and others may be. But this is not the end of what we need to do. Real conversation, prayer, and discernment does need to happen. If you could do something to keep your children safe, wouldn’t you do it?
For many parents, the time to start potty training is filled with joy for the day that diapers will be no more. For myself, it’s a period I dread. I’ve been a part of the team supporting child and their parents through the potty training process more times than I can name. I’ve cleaned up countless children, wiped up MANY floors, and done innumerable loads of laundry from “accidents” that may or may not have been an accident. No matter how you go about this process with a child I know that much of this is inevitable. Over time my thoughts on potty training has ebbed and flowed.
After watching many children succeed in learning to use the toilet and many have to go about it in their own way, I know that this process is not one size fits all. I’m also a firm believer that a child will not make the switch from diapers to the potty until they are good and ready. At times we can wonder if we’re crazy in what we’re thinking about on this parenting journey, but I really appreciated this post from Janet Lansbury affirming my inclination on why we shouldn’t potty train. I realize we can’t force a child to make the switch, but sometimes it’s hard to know when a child is good and ready.
My husband doesn’t get my potty training/toilet learning dread, as he thinks this is a great next step for our daughter. I’ve tried to explain what’s in our future and why I’m not wanting to rush this next stage, but I think seeing is believing. For the last several months, VHP has been showing more and more signs of potty training readiness. I’m really trying to follow her lead so that things can go as quickly, smoothly, and painless many loads of laundry free as possible.
Since thanksgiving, things have been even more potty focused in the Parker house. Around 12:00 on Thanksgiving day, I took VHP upstairs for a diaper change and she demanded no diaper. I asked if she needed to go potty, to which she responded yes. Took her and she did in fact pee a fair amount (not the first time this has happened mind you). After that she REFUSED to put a diaper on, so big girl panties it was. She did great through thanksgiving lunch (an early meal due to my brother having to work), and went potty again before nap. I did put a diaper on for nap time (much to her dismay), but it was right back to being in panties after that. Difference this time was that she would NOT use the potty. Well, during snack she decided she HAD to come sit with me. As anyone can guess, half way through snack she and I both had wet pants. We changed our clothes, finished snack and played for a bit. After snack we tried to potty again with no luck. Shortly thereafter my mom noticed VHP’s pants were wet AGAIN. Changed her clothes AGAIN which I know is normal for this process, but tiring nonetheless. Before long it was potty time again, VHP wouldn’t go, and not too long after that it was accident #3! I decided enough was enough, and back to the diapers she went (with much protestation)!
Over the next couple weeks VHP would use the potty some, but this past week it’s been different. She has started requesting to go potty, and really going more than usual. Saturday she used the potty more than soiling her diapers, and for that I was really excited. But then there was the after dinner diaper change incident in a public restroom. She was being cooperative through the diaper change, and all was well in our world. Then I asked if she needs to go potty, which is the normal diaper change question lately, and her response was yes. I’m getting ready to grab her and take her potty when I notice the changing pad is getting wet. She smiles. I tell her we don’t pee on the change on the changing table, to which she responds, “yeah, pee potty.” I affirm this and clean up the new mess on our hands. VHP keeps giggling and declares, “its’s funny!”
Sigh, have I mentioned I dread potty training?!
I’m hoping this whole process goes well, but I’m feeling quite skeptical. Tips for what has worked for you? Guidance on what hasn’t worked? Stories to share on the challenges JOY of switching from diapers to using the potty?
Nursery
On The Go 
HebrewDawn 