Strong Women

HebrewDawn: Strong Women
many thanks to sc stock shop for this beautiful photo


With Tuesday being Equal Pay Day, helping women be strong has been on my mind a lot. Getting us to a point of equality in our pay checks still requires much work, but I believe there are a few things that can help us get there.

1. Support one another. No matter how old we may be, we always need encouragement to be the strongest we can be, AND we have a role in encouraging the women around us. If you’re a woman or know a woman that could benefit from a group of women encouraging you or them through ups and downs, I have the Facebook group for you. It’s a small but mighty group of women, who share words of encouragement are there to support one another.

2. Look out for one another. I’m slightly sad that it took a man to create a safer alternative to Uber and other taxis services, but glad that he did. No matter who we are, or what gender we may be, looking out for each other is what we should do. I’m excited to see if Chariot for Women is as good and safe as it sounds.

3. Don’t stop speaking up for one another. Some of us be unable to speak out about their situation, and it’s up to those of us that can to do it. A great is example, is our First Lady is speaking up on the importance of education for girls. How else are we going to get equal pay here in the U.S.A and internationally if we are not equally educated?

4. Give up competiting with one another. Far too often we want to show how we are bigger, better, or stronger than the person next to us. We are each trying to do the best we can, the last thing we need is to belittle one another.

I’m Just Not Sorry

Today we are going to look at wellness from a different perspective. I’m hoping to challenge us all with some questions and suggestions to benefit our mental and emotional wellbeing. Sometimes it takes sort things out inside of us to make a strong impact in our lives on the outside.

How many times have you said sorry for something you were not actually sorry for? How many times have you used just to preface what you were about to ask or say? More times than you can count? Well I’m just not sorry to say this, you’ve got to stop it right now.

You are a strong and capable woman and you are giving up the power you have in conversations that are in person, over the phone, and in e-mails. I’ve been on a mission to lift other women up AND take back my own power. Ready to join me?

If you’re not sure yet, let me share a little more with you on why you should. You are apologizing for things that are NOT your fault, and accepting blame that is not yours to take. You are putting yourself in the line of fire and anger from other people that shouldn’t be directed at you. You are apologizing to someone who bumped into you in a store or restaurant that caused you to spill what was in your hand. You are not sorry for what you did not do. You are smart, accomplished, and making the most of your days, and decreasing the value of your accomplishments and wit by accepting senseless blame.

Reclaiming Your Power: why you're just not sorry
Let’s turn over a new leaf, and stop apologizing for what we did not do. We can empathize when someone we love is feeling down without apologizing for it. You may be sorry that someone did not have the best experience with your co-worker, but you are not sorry for this co-worker’s failure to do what they should have done. You are sorry for an honest mistake you’ve made and want to correct in the future.

Now that we’re done saying sorry, we have to stop prefacing what we have to say or ask with just. No matter where we are in life or on the corporate ladder, we have a lot to offer those around us. These people may or may not realize how much we have to offer yet, but suddenly it’s diminished by our using of just as qualifier.

  • I just wanted to ask if you have that proposal yet?
  • I just need this back a week a from tomorrow.
  • I just wanted to check and see if you have that thing I asked you about?

These three statement could be much stronger if we only dropped the word just…

  • I wanted to ask if you have that proposal yet?
  • I need this back a week a from tomorrow.
  • I want to check and see if you have that thing I asked you about?

By eliminating the word just from the statements, we are able to more clearly communicate our expectations. We are sure and concise. We show we know what we’re talking about, and expect the other person to hold their end of the bargain.

Ready to join me in being a stronger version of you? If now you know you how, by eliminating two little words from your repertoire, you can empower yourself and communicate more clearly. I want to warn you, it’s a hard habit to break. I hope your belief in yourself will grow and that you will know just how valuable you are to the people who know and work with you!

My Independent Daughter 

Lately my daughter has been REALLY into helping us do things around the house. Her current favorites are dishes and cooking. There seems to be no limit to what she wants to help us do. In the moment it may not feel like VHP is being all that helpful, but I remind myself she is learning how to do things on her own. She’s becoming independent.

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you may have seen the above picture of VHP helping put away dishes. At first glance you see spoons, forks, and knives not where they belong. What I learned a few nights ago at dinner, is that my little girl was learning exactly where everything belonged. She got down from her chair at dinner and told us, “be right back okay.” She then went to the drawer above, opened it and started reaching for what she needed. She couldn’t quite see what she wanted, so she turned to get a chair. She frequently uses a chair to stand on and watch us cook or put away dishes. Once she got the chair next to my husband, she climbed up and got herself a spoon. I guess a fork wasn’t what she wanted to eat with that evening.

In the moment I thought to myself, God help me, this girl will be so independent. I quickly realized I needed to change my thoughts on this. It’s not God help me, but God bless me, this girl will be so independent. Yes, she is going to test my patience in waiting for her to do things herself, but she will be able to do things herself. Like my husband and I always say, we’re not raising a child, but raising a person. This independent little girl will one day be an independent woman, and there’s no other way I’d rather her be.