April Showers Bring May Flowers

Happy Friday and April everyone! 2016 is moving swiftly, but today is a little slower in Richmond with the rainy skies. Here’s hoping all this rain brings beautiful spring flowers. What fun things do you have planned for this weekend?

I’m hoping to make it by the VCU French Film Festival here in RVA. If you are a lover of French movies, it worth making the trip to Richmond for it. You have the opportunity to see films that may never be available in the United States, ask actors, directors, and producers questions about their film. Lots of fun and a great opportunity!
It’s Cherry Blossom season, and this Japanese girl is super excited about it. Locally we have the VCU Japanese Students Association putting on a Cherry Blossom Festival locally this weekend. Don’t forget this also the great festival in Washington D.C..

I found this great recipe over on the minimalist baker, and I cannot wait to try it. It’s a vegan and gluten free mac ‘n cheese, and this girl here with a dairy allergy is always looking for good options, though I’m not sure I’d make this gluten free (LOVE ME SOME PASTA!). I’ll let you know how my attempt at making this goes!

Hope you have a beautiful weekend!

I’m Just Not Sorry

Today we are going to look at wellness from a different perspective. I’m hoping to challenge us all with some questions and suggestions to benefit our mental and emotional wellbeing. Sometimes it takes sort things out inside of us to make a strong impact in our lives on the outside.

How many times have you said sorry for something you were not actually sorry for? How many times have you used just to preface what you were about to ask or say? More times than you can count? Well I’m just not sorry to say this, you’ve got to stop it right now.

You are a strong and capable woman and you are giving up the power you have in conversations that are in person, over the phone, and in e-mails. I’ve been on a mission to lift other women up AND take back my own power. Ready to join me?

If you’re not sure yet, let me share a little more with you on why you should. You are apologizing for things that are NOT your fault, and accepting blame that is not yours to take. You are putting yourself in the line of fire and anger from other people that shouldn’t be directed at you. You are apologizing to someone who bumped into you in a store or restaurant that caused you to spill what was in your hand. You are not sorry for what you did not do. You are smart, accomplished, and making the most of your days, and decreasing the value of your accomplishments and wit by accepting senseless blame.

Let’s turn over a new leaf, and stop apologizing for what we did not do. We can empathize when someone we love is feeling down without apologizing for it. You may be sorry that someone did not have the best experience with your co-worker, but you are not sorry for this co-worker’s failure to do what they should have done. You are sorry for an honest mistake you’ve made and want to correct in the future.

Now that we’re done saying sorry, we have to stop prefacing what we have to say or ask with just. No matter where we are in life or on the corporate ladder, we have a lot to offer those around us. These people may or may not realize how much we have to offer yet, but suddenly it’s diminished by our using of just as qualifier.

I just wanted to ask if you have that proposal yet?
I just need this back a week a from tomorrow.
I just wanted to check and see if you have that thing I asked you about?

These three statement could be much stronger if we only dropped the word just…

I wanted to ask if you have that proposal yet?
I need this back a week a from tomorrow.
I want to check and see if you have that thing I asked you about?

By eliminating the word just from the statements, we are able to more clearly communicate our expectations. We are sure and concise. We show we know what we’re talking about, and expect the other person to hold their end of the bargain.

Ready to join me in being a stronger version of you? If now you know you how, by eliminating two little words from your repertoire, you can empower yourself and communicate more clearly. I want to warn you, it’s a hard habit to break. I hope your belief in yourself will grow and that you will know just how valuable you are to the people who know and work with you!

It Won’t Be Like This For Long

There are so many moments as a parent when we wonder if it will always be this hard. On the flip side, there are many times that we wish would last forever. It’s this strange, yet lovely, dichotomy that represents motherhood and being a parent. As I’ve navigated life as mom, I’ve had moments that took my breath away from being so sweet or challenging. I wondered if it would always be like this, and then I’d remind myself that it won’t be like this for long…

Many thanks to Darius Rucker for providing the music to convey these feeling so well, but also serving as an important reminder that the sweet moments are quickly fleeting.

While pregnant we wonder if we’ll ever find out the gender of our baby, or if we will ever be done waiting for our child to arrive. What we forget about is the safety and security of the little love in the womb, while we grow and prepare for life with this little love in the world.

After the weeks of waiting for the arrival of our sweet baby, we wonder with blurry eyes if we will do anything besides nurse, change diapers, and rock a crying baby back to sleep. What we forget is how this little baby is completely dependent on the milk that only we can provide, finds the most comfort in our heartbeat, and will someday want no part of these sweet snuggles.

Once we finally make it through early months of a newborn, we suddenly have a baby that has forgotten how to sleep. We are now in the throws of the five month sleep regression and wonder if we’ll ever sleep again. Later we’ll realize that these late night snuggles are precious when our baby will one day squirm too much to sleep cuddled next to us.

We anxiously await the day for our sweet little love to crawl and explore the world, until we realize they can’t find every little thing closest to the ground. We long for the day that they won’t be into everything, but what we will someday realize that there are so many things that they cannot yet reach.

We long for the day that our sweet child will walk, and run and play until they do. Suddenly they are toddling everywhere and finding everything to grab and crash into. We wonder if we’ll have to scoop them up forever and kiss their bruises, but some day we’ll remember how much faster they can move and how tough they were.

After weeks and months of practice, our sweet toddler no longer moves slowly from place to place, but is getting into everything. We wonder if anything will be sacred or safe from their little hands, but later we’ll know that it was easier having them get into these things down low and not hidden out of sight.

Before long we reach the long awaited days of potty training when diapers are no more. We feel like we’ve finally crossed the last bridge of babydom, and long for the days of dry underpants. Someday we’ll remember how much this little person still needed our love and guidance with even the basic of human needs.

Each moment of life with our babies is challenging but is quickly passing. When the moments get to be too hard, I pause and remind myself that it won’t be like this for long. That times that feel so hard will one day be sweet moments of the past that we may (not always) long to go back to and savor.

He is Risen

Share the good news that he is risen indeed. Have a blessed and beautiful Easter!

“But the angel said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for he has been raised, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, “He has been raised from the dead, and indeed he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him.” This is my message for you.’ So they left the tomb quickly with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples.” -Matthew 28:5-8 (NRSV)

It Is Finished

In observance of Good Friday, there will not be a regular post today like usual on HebrewDawn. May you be blessed this Easter weekend!

“When Jesus had received the wine, he said, ‘It is finished.’ Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” – John 19:30 (NRSV)

Getting Healthy

Do you take good are of yourself? I mean, do you exercise regularly, eat healthy, drink lots of water, and get enough rest? I’d like to think and say that I take good are of myself, but if I’m going to be completely honest, I could definitely do a better job! Today I want us to talk about being better at this. So what does it look like to take good care of ourselves?

There are lots of thoughts out there about how we should go about doing this. Some may think it’s following a special diet, doing a certain type of exercise, or joining accountability groups. Much of that will definitely help and be part of that process. Much of it can sound like a lot of work, and not something we want to do. We’ll make excuses because it seeems like there’s a long list of musts, shoulds, and can’t haves and we don’t want to be deprived of the things that we want. I truly believe that this isn’t quite the right approach. We need to get our thoughts focused on being or getting healthy. When we think about doing what’s healthy and good for us, then that is something we can get on board with doing. We might not want to talk about how we should eat or how much we are going to exercise, but what if we started asking ourselves if what we’re about to do is going to make us the healthiest version of ourselves?

I personally planned to be better about exercise in 2016, and I’ve not been as good as I had hoped. I don’t really want to go for a run, but I do want to be the healthiest version of myself so I can live life to the fullest. So tomorrow is my birthday, and I’m going to use this as my new year to start over. I still plan to exerise more, eat better (less sugary sweets), and other things of that nature. I will not be marking my calendar up with exercise appointments, but I will be writing reminders to myself to make healthy choices. By doing this I’m going to be concerned with being a healthier version of me for today, tomorrow, and ten years from now.

There are simple steps we can follow after we change our thought process on being healthy:

Start and end each day with a refreshing glass of water. Once you have this habit in place, it’s easier to keep drinking water throughout the day to stay hydrated.
Get to sleep at a time that will ensure you get 7 to 9 hours of sleep. We may think we can get by on less sleep, but studies show that our bodies NEED that much sleep. When do you need to be up in the morning? Make sure you’re in bed 7 to 9 hours before then, and include some time to wind down too.
Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner and healthy snacks in between. Skipping meals isn’t good for your metabolism and sets you up for making poor food choices out of starvation.
Find a physical activity you love and do it. There’s no sense making yourself run if it’s something you hate doing, but there’s also no reason to deprive yourself from going to yoga if that brings you joy.

Getting yourself to the point of being healthy doens’t have to be complicated, but it does involve choosing to be healthy. What would your life look like if you did this?

So, how are you ready to get healthy with me? I’m planning to share about my successes and failures, but no matter what I’ll be taking care of myself . I’m no expert on this topic, but I am a woman trying and encouraging you to join me.

Real Moms: Loren Mitchell

I am so excited to begin the new motherhood series here on HebrewDawn, and interview our first mom. Please allow me to introduce, one of my dearest friends, Loren Mitchell. She is a pastor in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), a writer, and a dear friend. She’s and I met while in seminary together, and though miles may separate us, our friendship has remained strong. It has been a joy to be on this motherhood journey together, as our kids are 7 months apart. I hope you enjoy getting to know Loren and hearing about her life as a mom with her sweet boy K.

How many children do you have and how old are they? I have one child, a son, who will be 2 years old in May.

What is your greatest joy in being a mom? Seeing how much fun K has when he is doing the most basic things! He loves moving and sorting things from one box to another. He gets really excited now to go outside and play. While he is more of a picky eater now than he once was, he really enjoys eating applesauce and cookies. He is very adamant in asking for both. He also has this little monkey backpack and lunchbox that he loves to wear to school. My favorite part of the day is bedtime. Not the part where we keep trying to delay putting on pajamas or fighting brushing our teeth. But the part where we snuggle in the rocking chair and read stories before bed.

What has been your greatest struggle as a mom? Having my child be sick so frequently in the past year. For the first ten months of his life he went to work with me (I was serving as a solo pastor in a small congregation). When we moved to a bigger city and I began to serve a larger church a year ago, K who was becoming mobile, had to start daycare. He has had every virus under the sun, twice! To make matters worse, he has febrile seizures. This means that when his fever spikes from a virus or ear infection for example, he has seizures. These do not cause damage and don’t last very long but they are so scary! So, as parents we have struggled a lot on whether or not to keep him in school or take him out. It is always hard to see your baby sick, but the fear of seizures has made us extra protective when he isn’t feeling well. We’ve chosen to keep him in the Montessori school where he attends because he loves it so much and he is learning so many great skills. And finally, after a year, I believe his immune system is finally getting stronger!

What’s something you wish you knew before you became a mom? I was so terrified to bring him home when he was born. How would I ever sleep? I knew it would be so tiring. I knew that we would become pros at feeding, changing, etc., but I don’t think I was ever absolutely certain that I was ready to be a mother. I guess I wish I had been more confident in the fact that I didn’t have to breastfeed my child. I had wanted to do that and was prepared for it. But, I was sick when he was born. Not only did we have latching issues, my milk never came in. After about 6 weeks of stressing over that every hour of every day I quit trying. And you know what? It is okay! My son is healthy. My son was thriving and I was not. I had to not only accept that fact but trust that we bonded just fine as mother and son without breastfeeding. It is great for some moms, but it didn’t work for me and that doesn’t make me any less of a mother.

Having a child changes you, so what do you hold onto and let go of as mother? Being in control of everything (P.S. this is ridiculously hard). I like to plan things out but I find that with a child things change in an instant so it is harder for me to commit to doing things professionally or socially. I actually had to give up serving on our Presbytery Youth Council because I just couldn’t do everything. This was very sad for me to say that I couldn’t participate in that ministry anymore. I’ve gotten very lax about keeping the house straight or even keeping my desk/bill pile organized. I hate this and It drives me crazy. If I have to choose between sitting on the floor with the kiddo or straightening up, I have learned to try to sit still in the moment (my husband will tell you he has to constantly remind me that it is ok to be this way)! I am also trying really hard to hold on to my friendships. Time is such a precious gift these days but I am often too tired to pick up the phone or plan a day with friends. I value those relationships and that support so much, as I have wonderful friends. I hope they know they are appreciated, even if we don’t spend a lot of time together like we did before we all got married and had children.

How has your relationship with your significant other changed since having kids? My relationship with my husband is certainly different. In some ways we are stronger than ever, we are a team when it comes to parenting our son and I feel that we are intentional in quality time spent as a family. But there are days when we really struggle. There are days when all of my energy is spent being pastor and mother and I am just deflated at the end of the day with little energy to be a wife. Not that these roles should ever be divided up in this way as I am supposed to wear all these hats at once, but I think that my husband often gets the short end of the stick. Other life stresses can also contribute to that but I think that we strive to spend quality time together, but it is tough. This flows over into the next question

How do you make time for date night? Or how do you keep it saucy when life gets messy? Short answer: I am not very good at it! I let the stresses of life kill my mood more often than I should. We have tried, and will continue to strive to take date nights or spend time together on days I do not have to work. We are lucky we have family close by so we do try to take advantage and let K spend time with them!

What’s the one thing you would tell yourself looking back on your journey thus far? They grow so fast. And Saturdays can be so hard! Just try to relax and enjoy the moments you have with your son and your spouse. Children change every day and I want to be able to remember what he was like at each stage of his childhood. Two things I have done to record those memories are to make Shutterfly Photo books every few months and write him a monthly blog on his birthday date with memories, milestones, and photos so that we can always look back. He’ll either appreciate that when he is older or want to kill me.

Thank You Loren for agreeing to be a part of the real moms series! I hope you have enjoyed hearing from this beautiful woman, and hearing that there are many similar struggles that we are all facing. If you enjoyed her writing style as much as I do, feel free to read more on her blog Preaching Thumbelina.

Would you like to be featured in the Real Moms Series or have someone you’d like to see? We are looking for moms with kids of all ages AND mothers of children all grown up to share their story. Make sure to send me a message to be featured or nominate someone!

Get Ready: Easter is Coming

In two short days it will be Holy Week. This means that as Christians, these are the final days of lent which lead us to Easter. Far too often we make a mad dash for Easter Sunday, but this year I’d like to encourage you to slow down. Why you may ask? Easter can’t happen without the days leading up, and we need those days to prepare our hearts and minds too.

Holy Week begins with Palm Sunday, as we remember Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem. For those of us that go to church this Sunday morning, will wave palm branches, and sing Hosanna. We’ll be caught up in the joy of the day and not think much about the journey that Jesus is about to begin. Those closest to Jesus, the disciples, are clueless about what is going to happen to their beloved friend and teacher, despite his many warnings and we’re not all that different. Despite all of our flaws and failings, Jesus knowingly and willingly continues down this road that will lead to his death. With all the hosannas and waves of our palm branches, we tend not to think about the meaning of this day or the week ahead.

As we read through the Gospels on Holy Monday and Tuesday we’re being prepared for what’s to come. Jesus will be anointed at Bethany, foreshadowing what will happen to him in death. Jesus will again warn his discipes, and us as the readers, of what is coming. On of his friends will betray him and set the final course of events into action. As if all of this wasn’t enough, another friend will come to deny he ever knew him, his friend and swore he’d never deny and would defend. Thursday will come, and church attendance will go down drastically, before it’s great spike on Easter Sunday.

Thursday is Maundy, or Commandment, Thursday. We often skip up and call this day Monday Thirsday or some funny derivation, because we’re clueless to what this word preceding Thirsday is. It’s word coming from Middle English, Old French (mandé), and Latin (mandatum) which essentially means commandment. It was this day that Jesus washed the disciples feet, gave the commandment to love one another, and to remember him in gathering together by sharing the Lord’s Supper. Throughout the year we celebrate this meal, and forget about its humble beginnings. A shared meal with friends made sacred with the sharing of bread and wine on the eve of the worst day in Jesus’ human life.

We now come to Friday, that we call Good Friday. It is on this day we remember with solemn hearts the sacrifice that Jesus, makes for us out of God’s great love for each of us. On this day we take time to be humbled, sometimes to the point if tears, of the great sacrifice Jesus makes for us. We slow down and realize that the story of Christianity isn’t just about a cute baby in a stable or just about resurrection. It is on this day that we remember that the story is about life, AND death, AND new life.

Let us prepare our hearts and minds for the joy of the Easter Sunday, even when it may be a solemn journey along the way.

Self-Care 101

Are you good at taking care of yourself or at making yourself a priority? If you’re anything like most women that I know, the answer is probably no. We all talk a big game about how we’re going to exercise more, eat better, drink more water, and take more bubble baths (or other relaxing activities). But at the end of the day it doesn’t happen, and it’s all just a lot of talk.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not always the best about self-care, but it’s something I’m continually striving to be better about. I’m also someone who encourages those around me to be better about caring for themselves too. This is why wellness is going to be a new recurring theme on HebrewDawn. Today we’re going to talk about the why and the how of making self care a priority.

Why do we need to make this a priority?

Your body NEEDS exercise for your continued health and well-being
Your body NEEDS to rest so that you can be refreshed and renewed
Your mind NEEDS you to continue learning for increased memory
Your mind NEEDS to rest so that it continue to learn

Are you noticing a trend about our minds and bodies? I don’t think any of us want to see our bodies become weak, out of shape, or unhealthy. Just as we want our bodies to be healthy, we also don’t want to see them overtaxed and unable to continue. In the same vein, we’d like to think that our minds will remain sharp as a tack, rather than forgetful. In all of this finding balance is key, and requires commitment on our own part. How we each go about taking care of ourselves might be different, but it still needs to happen.

How are we going to make this a priority?

START making yourself a priority .
Make exercise and learning a part of your routine.
Find something that interests you and learn more about it.
Practice the art of saying no.

No one else is going to make you stop, rest, and care for yourself if you are not willing to do it. The people who love you and care about you might encourage you to slow down, but they most certainly cannot make you. What if you started saying no to the things that are keeping you from doing what you need to do for your own self-care? Far too often we’re afraid to say no to someone out of fear for how the other person will feel, but we fail to think about how this will make us feel. What if you did say no from time to time?

I’ve had a friend recently say that she generally focuses on the destination not the journey. Like myself, and many other women I know, she’s constantly on the go and not the best at slowing down. Now due to a recent injury, she has HAD to stop running at full-speed, slow down and enjoy the journey not the destination. How different would life be if we allowed ourselves to focus on the journey AND the destination? This could look like your schedule being less chaotic and full of things that bring you the most joy. In the realm of self-care, this would look like taking care of yourself being the norm, and not something special you have to do

Where can you make exercise, rest, and learning part of your routine?

Coming Soon: specific ways we can care for our bodies, brains, and more!

Announcement

Happy Monday! I shared on Friday that there are some things in the works for HebrewDawn, and I couldn’t wait to tell you! Some may have noticed that there has been a routine developing as to the type of material and topics posted (Mondays – motherhood, Wednesdays – faith, and Fridays – fun). There will still be a routine to what is posted and when, but there will be a little bit of a shift. Are you ready to hear what it is?
Drum roll please….

Mondays will remain motherhood and motivation focused, but that is not all. There is a new series coming your way and YOU are invited to be a part of it!

Throughout this series we’ll hear stories from other moms, answering some of our questions, sharing their stories, and helping us know that we’re not alone on this motherhood journey. We will hear from moms with children of all ages, AND veteran moms who have survived living with kids and then had them leave the nest. So how do you get to be a part of this? If you have questions for these moms or if you would be interested in being featured, leave a comment or send me a message.

Wednesdays will be taking on a new focus from what they’ve been. Now the focus will be on wellness, and it will be from a 360 perspective. We will take a look at wellness through the lens of fitness, diet, heart, and mind. To enrich our conversations on this topic, be on the lookout for a new voice coming to HebrewDawn as a regular contributor!

Fridays will continue be a mix of faith and fun. This should be a positive way to finish out our week, refresh our souls, and get us ready for the coming week.

Thank you for being a faithful reader, and I hope you’ll be a part of the excitement however you may contribute to the conversation (questions, comments, or sharing a story too). As always I’ll hope you’ll spread the word to others of all that’s going on and all that’s coming so we can each be encourage and inspired as we journey together.

Happy Monday!