done is enough

How often do you fret over going the extra mile on the project that’s been assigned to you at work? How many times have you worried about finding the perfect vendor to complete an update or correction to something in your home? How often have you said no to a volunteer opportunity because you didn’t think you were knowledgeable enough? Have you ever considered that done is enough?

Over the years I’ve learned to let go on having that work email typed out and articulated “just” right. Once I learned to let go, I’ve been the editor for coworkers stressing about sending out the “perfect” email. More times than not, the final product is not all that different from the orignal version that was being fretted over for not being quite right.

Over the years my husband and I have spent hours looking into every possible lawn care company that could solve all of our problems. We’ve reached out to neighbors to find out what works for them and their yard. We’ve then worried if it’s worth the month, if there are too many chemicals, and what if we made the wrong decision. We spent so much time researching and worrying that it delayed having a beautiful yard we can enjoy.

Over the years I’ve recruited countless volunteers who doubted their ability to serve. They though that they couldn’t be a Girl Scout leader because they were never a Girl Scout, but they turned out to be the most dedicated to learning EVERYTHING about the program, it’s history, and how to lead their girls. These leaders were more than capable and simply needed to say yes and get through their orientation. 

I’m not convinced that the driving factor in all of this is perfectionism. I am inclined to believe that it’s our own fear of judgement from others that we aren’t completing the job to perfection, choosing the best vendor for the job, or being the best person for a volunteer position. If we can let go of this fear of criticism or ridicule, we might we see that we did the best we could, we did find the right person for the job, and that we are a good fit for the opportunity.

Perhaps, if we can accept that done is enough, we will learn…

  • that anything we complete is done exceptionally well
  • we cannot spend all of our time researching, because we are missing out on other things in our life 
  • that we are capable and called to serve for ne volunteer opportunities

Don’t be afraid to say yes and know that done is enough.
HebrewDawn: done is enough

Working Mama

Dear Working Mama,

You are doing a great job!  I know that it doesn’t always feel that way, especially when the guilt kicks in.  Our list of worries, laments, and feelings can vary for each of us (in no particular order):

  • You wonder if you should be a stay-at-home mom, because it’s better for your child(re).
  • You lament that you’re missing out on things during the day/evening (depending on your work schedule) when someone else is with your child.
  • You forget to send in the needed things to daycare/preschool/the babysitter, because your mind is torn in fifty billion directions.
  • You feel guilty that you enjoy the break from your child(ren) while you’re at work.
  • You feel guilty that you’re distracted at work thinking about your little ones, making you not the top notch employee you once were.
  • You plot ways to be able to stay at home, but realize you can’t afford to do it. Now you wish you would have planned and saved better.
  •  You feel overworked, underpaid, and unable to finish your to-do lists.

This list could keep running on, just as the depth of our guilt, insecurities, and fears.  The judgment from other moms and women don’t help these feelings either. I’m here to tell you that you are awesome. No matter what the internal or external dialogue is telling you, you are doing a great job.

Your list of accomplishments are also great:

  • You are fierce at slashing things off a to-do list (whether or not all fifty billion things come off).
  • You can juggle a purse, work bag, diaper bag, and baby up one flight of stairs and down another.
  • The depth of your love for yourself, child(ren), and your work is impressive.
  • You are a great role model for your child(ren).
  • You are a strong woman.
  • You know how to plan for what you and your family needs.

This list could keep running on, because you are great at what you do.
 Mama look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful and GREAT at what you do. When you see a working mama, tell her she’s doing a good job. She needs to hear from her village that she is enough and that she is accomplishing more than she knows. Trust me, she really needs to hear this from you, as you may be the only person telling her.