The Challenge…

We all have different abilities. Some are great at math, some are great at fixing things, some are great cooks, and I’m none of those things. I do love learning languages and I’ve spent most of my life working with our youngest members of society from the ages of 0 to 18. I’m exceptionally fond of working with itsy bitsy babies, preschoolers, and teens. On the flip side, in my years of working at a local preschool, I would generally try to avoid those between the ages 16 to 36 months.

Those little people I like to avoid are also known as:

These little people are brilliant. They are little explorers, learning and discovering the world around them. They are learning how to be people. They are learning how to be independent. They are also learning how to push the limits of our sanity. These little geniuses drive me absolutely MAD with their limit pushing.

People, I’m going to be really honest with you. But I’ll warn you that I’ve had friends look at me like I have three heads and fifty eyes for saying this. I don’t really like toddlers, and I’m currently the mother to a toddler. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love and adore my toddler. But I don’t always like the behavior of this little person. Yeah I know toddlers are great in many ways! They’re growing and learning so much every day, and we ge to be a part of it as parents. It’s a privilege, and we get to watch them go through this process, but it’s also maddening along the way!

In recent months I stumbled upon this post about surviving the “terrible twos,” and now I’m love with the Danes. They don’t refer to this period of time as the “terrible twos,” or anything like that but as the “boundary stage.” This couldn’t be more accurate, as these little people are constantly working to understand the what boundaries exist around them. My precious toddler isn’t a psychopath, she’s just exploring another boundary!

Now don’t you dare think I’m healed of my toddler anxiety and frustration. I still have A LOT of work to do. I do plan to share with you more on how I’m managing this and resources I’ve found along the way. And if you have great resources, please share them, as I could use them too! Please know you are not alone in this toddler struggle, I’m in the thick of it with you!

Working Mama

Dear Working Mama,

You are doing a great job! I know that it doesn’t always feel that way, especially when the guilt kicks in. Our list of worries, laments, and feelings can vary for each of us (in no particular order):

You wonder if you should be a stay-at-home mom, because it’s better for your child(re).
You lament that you’re missing out on things during the day/evening (depending on your work schedule) when someone else is with your child.
You forget to send in the needed things to daycare/preschool/the babysitter, because your mind is torn in fifty billion directions.
You feel guilty that you enjoy the break from your child(ren) while you’re at work.
You feel guilty that you’re distracted at work thinking about your little ones, making you not the top notch employee you once were.
You plot ways to be able to stay at home, but realize you can’t afford to do it. Now you wish you would have planned and saved better.
You feel overworked, underpaid, and unable to finish your to-do lists.

This list could keep running on, just as the depth of our guilt, insecurities, and fears. The judgment from other moms and women don’t help these feelings either. I’m here to tell you that you are awesome. No matter what the internal or external dialogue is telling you, you are doing a great job.

Your list of accomplishments are also great:

You are fierce at slashing things off a to-do list (whether or not all fifty billion things come off).
You can juggle a purse, work bag, diaper bag, and baby up one flight of stairs and down another.
The depth of your love for yourself, child(ren), and your work is impressive.
You are a great role model for your child(ren).
You are a strong woman.
You know how to plan for what you and your family needs.

This list could keep running on, because you are great at what you do.
Mama look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful and GREAT at what you do. When you see a working mama, tell her she’s doing a good job. She needs to hear from her village that she is enough and that she is accomplishing more than she knows. Trust me, she really needs to hear this from you, as you may be the only person telling her.

Parenting

Friends,
It’s been a LONG time since I last wrote a post , and I’ve been really inconsistent about posting since I started HebrewDawn. I’ve realized that I need to get back on the posting wagon, especially so I can share some things that have been weighing on my heart.

I’m going to be really honest with you. Becoming a mama to VHP is the best thing I have ever done, while being the hardest thing at the same time. It feels like everyone wants to tell you how beautiful and magical it is, without telling you the other side of the story. It’s like they’re afraid they’ll scare you away from this beautiful and magical journey called motherhood. Yes motherhood is beautiful and full of many magical moments, but it is also messy and has its tearful moments.

I’ve been in the business of babies, preschoolers, children, and teens for over twenties years now. Many folks in my family said I would be great at this motherhood thing and wouldn’t need help. Guess what? I don’t have lots of questions on what do or how to do things, but I DO need help and do have questions from time to time. Every single one of us on this journey of motherhood (fatherhood for you dads), needs help! It takes a village to raise a child. That village can look very different for every single one of us, but we all need our village. Society is focused on having us say, “I can do it” or “I’ve got it covered” or “I can do this by myself!” But all of that isn’t true. We are built for community, and we need to say “I can do it, but I need you by my side on this path.”

It’s my hope to share some honest stories about this journey of being a mama, and how I am trying to manage it. I also plan to share other stories on being a wife, balancing work + life, and other various things. I hope you’ll join me for the ride and poke me if I’m not posting enough.

Starting Again

It has been quite some time since I was last on here!

A LOT has happened! When I started this blog I was documenting my foot issues. So, I’ve recovered from two foot surgeries, one for a bunionectomy and torn ligament on my left foot and a right double bunionectomy (Austin and Tailor’s). I then recovered from other foot issues (neuromas and capsulitis), and got my feet healthy so Z and I could start a family.

And now we have started our sweet family with the birth of our sweet VHP:

Starting in eleven short days, I begin a new adventure…juggling being a wife, a mom, going back to work, being okay with working while someone else watches my little girl. Thankfully the someone else is the people that I love a whole heck of a lot…my mother, my mother-in-law, and my best friend C. What makes this even better is that when my mom and mother-in-law watch the baby to be at the house. So even though I’m working I’ll still get to see my little girl some throughout the day! Then when my best friend watches VHP she’ll be just a few minutes away and hanging out with het BFF C’s little girl
The reality of going back to work hit me yesterday, and I’m working on coming to grips with this change. But in the midst of this adjustment I’m so thankful that even though I won’t be the primary caregiver, my little girl will be in good hands and I won’t miss out on everything since my office is at home!

I should probably end this post now as I’m starting to ramble. So I’ll close by saying that I don’t know if this will turn into full on mommy blog, but I do plan to share how I juggle being a wife, a mom, working for a non-profit, volunteering at our church, and still having a life along the way. Here we go!